Office Drama Appreciator Pillows

'... and sign it 'shovingly up yours'.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

"You're not the 'Yes Man' you used to be, Smilby."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

Doom & Gloom

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

Victorian Garden Romance

You want to watch it here, a lot of back-stabbing goes on.

The Last Husband and Wife Team Hired

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm very disappointed in the severance package."

Don Giovanni

"Bad news. I've been fired! I was mouthing silent obscenities at the boss and forgot we don't wear masks at work anymore."