Office Underdog Gifts

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'

Sawing a job out from under him.

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

"It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm on a sinking ship!"

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"When you've earned a chair, Hartley, you'll get a chair."

"Here it comes...my hard work is paying off...give it to me, baby!"

"I can't promote you to that position ... you'd be perfect for the job."

Intern

stress always gives me back pain

In basket-case.

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"I feel your pain."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"I'm telling you, she's the best in her field."

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

Work Slave

You are here.

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

Office Weather

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."