Office Thinker T-Shirts

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'I can't crack this problem.' - 'Easy. You've got to kill the gorilla before you can get the gold.'

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'T.M.I.F.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

Employee won't think about work outside of box

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Lemonade Inc.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'