Office Thinker Gifts

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'I can't crack this problem.' - 'Easy. You've got to kill the gorilla before you can get the gold.'

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Lemonade Inc.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

Office slaves.