Workplace Thinker T-Shirts

'He likes us to leave the door open a bit so he knows there's people around.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

Employee won't think about work outside of box

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Our Two Parties, Explained

Motivation to work

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

US v.s. Tech Giants

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Target your customer.

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'I'd like to explain my ideas for economy within the company.'

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

The role of administration.

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Just go with the workflow."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'