Office Perks Pillows

'I don't understand how the Americans are getting away with all these lateral hires.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

That shows business confidence.

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

The Pencil and Sharpener

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?

"They grow up so fast."

'I'm from the creative department, I don't actually do anything.'

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

"I'm sending you to Siberia. Your job is remaining here."

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

Office worker chips a golf ball into in tray on a desk at work.

Labor Day '19

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

Frustrated at the office.

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

"No, you didn't hear the soft rustle of a sandwich wrapper!"

"It's called a treadmill workstation, not a stationary rat race."

"You'll be allowed to work from home two days a week... Saturday and Sunday."

Office Safety.

TEAM