Office Peacekeeper Pillows

Mr. Larson's tendency to micromanage was getting on Brad's nerves.

violence in the workplace

Support Group For Employers That Got Their Disciplinary Proceedings Wrong.

"Sorry—just thinking out loud."

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

"Guys, quit it, or we’re all going to end up in sensitivity training!"

'To survive in the Pilot-Fish Business, you have to remember not to argue with the Boss...'

"Alright, settle down! Settle down!"

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Home Sweet Home

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

UNFADED GLORY

Human rights

"The session isn't quite going to plan."

The problem is, too many people aren't the least bit particular about their arrows.

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

"Perhaps we got off on the wrong paw."

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

'How long have you been fighting?'

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

Earth and war

"We need to work on our people-friendly image you jackass."

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

'Here, William, take this - the G8 has chosen you to nip over for a one-to-one with Assad...'

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."