Office Outliers Pillows

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

Do not think outside the box!

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

'Sorry, you failed the aptitude test.' -'Thankfully I own the company.'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

"You're late, Myers!"

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

'And I see that Derek continues to ignore our company's dress code...'

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

'We've got trouble, Henderson - Your people got with my people and decided they didn't need us.'

I stamped out smiley faces in your handwritten memos, and by George, I'll do the same with emoticons in your emails!

"Yeah? Well, tell him that in this company Gandhi-like resistance wouldn't have worked for Gandhi, either."

"On the plus side, you're on the cover of all the major business publications."

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

'You say he left the office hours ago?'

"Yup, marathon meetings all day."

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."