Office Interaction Analyst Gifts

'I should come back tomorrow, she's in her pulling the leaves off the spider plant mood.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Career opportunities

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Uh-Oh..."

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

'In my rise to the tip I was always aware of a higher power - now I feel I'm ready to take it on.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

The rope to success.

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

Building business relations.

"Managing a complex project in these fractious times requires imagination, the first thing I’d like you to imagine is that you have a team to help you."