Office Existentialist Pillows

"It doesn't do you any good being depressed about your job, because you're stuck doing it for the rest of your life."

"For this, I gave up the piano?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'T.M.I.F.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

Chiller Theatre

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Office slaves.

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

Pastorius wonders why.

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Zenemies.

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."