Office Existentialist Gifts

"It doesn't do you any good being depressed about your job, because you're stuck doing it for the rest of your life."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Chiller Theatre

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

Office slaves.

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

Pastorius wonders why.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Zenemies.

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

Optimist