Offbeat Cartoon Admirer Gifts

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"You don't see much in the way of rioting and looting when an unarmed white man is killed by the police."

God Bless America, God Help Syria

"I think he just ashed on me."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

"You'll go far...you think like a man..."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

Oil in Nigeria.

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Camel In The Tent

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

The Boom-Bust Cycle of Capitalism

'There's a conglomerate of malcontents here to see you, sir.'

Car Rides - Cats

'Mr. Putin, annexation of Crimea was nice, but wouldn't Ukraine, Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia also be nice addictions to your Empire?'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

In Which the CEO Takes a Meeting with His Pet Senator

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

NHS Suicide Counselling

'Extreme acupuncture.'

There IS a Santa Claus.

Feet Off the Ground