Off-menu Explorer Mugs

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

American style Greek cafe.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Coffee Menu

'Whatever he's eating.'

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

Heart Disease Menu

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

What's the insect de jour?