Menu Avoider Mugs

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Is the MSG local?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Fast Food Menu Selections

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"....and hold the garlic."

Coffee Menu

'Whatever he's eating.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

Heart Disease Menu

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'