Oceanic Oracle T-Shirts

The Death Fires (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

Chicken soup for the sole.

"Are we there yet?"

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

Wikipedia...

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'Your secondhand smoke is giving the hermit crab a hacking cough!'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

Clam Spearing

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Power/Expenditures

Fish tank filled with sardines.

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

The Authentic Christmas.

The End of the Property Boom is Nigh.

Hipster Police Department

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

Fish Feeding Frenzy

Evolution into a pair of sandals.

"Mum, Mum, the choir master taught us to yodel today! I loved it, I want to practice every day..."

"Next year, I'm pleasuring myself."