Oceanic Entrepreneur Gifts

Businessman surfing on a computer in the sea

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

A close shave on the Titanic...

'Another nice wave.'

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

Setting up companies

"Uh-Oh, gotta go lads. . . I smell blood!"

'Is it true that you people give tax breaks for minority-owned businesses?'

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

'How I love Global Warming... Otherwise, it would be necassary to look for a -BLEEARGH!- serious job!'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

"You've still got, like, a solid eight inches."

"We managed to outsource our strategic development team to a company in Beijing that will say 'yes sir no sir' for 25% less."

'Seven companies in three years.'

You called me, boss? Yes. I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we've found. I want you to stop doing that. At least until I'm done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don't need any competitors driving up the prices. Very bad man. When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing.

Private Commercial Spacecraft: 'Hi there! I'll bet you'll be wanting to buy some oxygen!'

"How's your SCUBA diving instruction school doing?"

"Weed cookies"

'Are you sure those are dolphins?'

'Now that's my kind of green technology!'

"I don't know what it means, but since my mom added that word, sales have gone through the roof."

'And what makes you think there's a market for golden eggs?'

"Right, all those in favour of a car boot sale?"

Man stranded on island selling coconuts. Advertises same location 14 years.

An ice cream van surrounded by igloos

"It's the perfect stocking stuffer!"

'Someday, son, this can be all yours.'

'Steer clear of the blow hole until we get to Sausalito.'