Ocean Stylist Gifts

"You may think you look cool, but can you actually breathe properly with that stupid cap on?"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

The Dubloon Stops Here

Lazy Octopus

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

'I blame global warming!'

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

Shellfie

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

A Preschool of Fish

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

'...I said we've been marooned.'

"Are you familiar with the term, 'Catch and Release', buster?"

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

Happy Retirement

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...