Obstetricians Gifts

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"Dammit! I swallowed another one!"

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

"I should have started this three months ago....contractions play havoc with jigsaw puzzles!!"

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'We decided to change the name of our practice to appeal to the young, hip demographic.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

"Oh, oh!!"

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"As I thought...the carefree extravagant days are over. There's no marble foyer."

"Can someone please explain to me what that nine months in solitary was all about?"

Childbirth and Covid 19

'Honey, what's the return policy on this baby?'

'Would you like your ultrasound photos standard, high definition, 3-D, or 4K ultra HD?'

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

The conversion.

Obstetricians with far too little training...

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

Out of body experience

Birth of a superhero

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Maternity Ward: Push & Keep Pushing

"Congratulations! It's a slushie."

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"His first out-of-body experience."

The cell phone soother for life.

A midwife holding a baby

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"