Observer Of People Pillows

'Why do old people always hang around all day in bus shelters?'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

Glance Exchange

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

'Hey everybody, I've decided to stop doing landscape drawings, and start doing caricatures of my fellow passengers.'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Nervous at a party.

"I keep reading all these stories about virtual reality nookie."

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

French beggars (the one with a 'Merci mille fois' sign has the most money).

'Not...one...drop.'

Victorian Pub Scene

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

'I think they're still just sizing each other up.'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

Joe Hundredaire

"Forget the table reservations. We found good seats and strong wifi at the bar and we're not moving!"

"I love people-watching."