Obedience Expert Gifts

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Zombie pet tricks.

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

Dog Training.

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"Text!"

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'