Obedience Training Enthusiast Gifts

"A simple command. She gets right to the point. I must obey. Still...I see that rolled-up newspaper as a threatening gesture designed to humble and instill fear. Therefore, later, while she sleeps. I will chew up her other shoe."

"I'm sure he does bring you your slippers and your morning paper, but that still doesn't make him a service dog."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

"Shake! Good Dog."

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Zombie pet tricks.

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

"Text!"

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'