Obedience Master Gifts

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Zombie pet tricks.

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Not until you fetch the other one."

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"Text!"

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

Dog watching show called, 'After Obedience School Special'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

"It concerns me when you say he doesn't come to you when called."