Nyc Socialite Humorists Pillows

"I'd ask you up, Richard, but my roommates and I have a pretty strict 'no-"Times"-twits-in-seersucker' policy."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

Champagne at the hunt

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"I'm going to need to make multiple stops."

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

"At work, they call me benchmark."

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

'I sculpt what I see, Miss Delsey.'

'I don't know where he's getting it from, but it happens every time I ask him to fetch my slippers.'

"And on tap I've got Enfamil, Isomil, and Gerber Lite."

'It's a social-climbing wall.'

'Naughty or nice? - I suppose you mean by White male standards, right?'

Two Men Dining.

"The point is, Hutchens, a younger man could jump higher."

"I want to be a spam master when I grow up. You'll find a sample of my work on your computer."

Your dire prediction in this space. 1-555-826-1000

"I was a late bloomer—I didn't inherit my money until my fifties."

Tunnel of Doris

'By the way, I usually sneeze in twos. So that's another interesting thing about me.'

'You really don't get this 'going clubbing' thing ... '

"This Subway Diet is way better than that Atkins nonsense."

'Those flashers make no sense to me. The less they have, the more they want to show it.'

Trump - The curly years