Socialite Humor Appreciator Pillows

'May I say how delightful it is to hear he use of the word 'Egad'.'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

Playing With Peace

Scott Walker keeps his job.

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"It doesn't work on geese."

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

Putin's Statement on Aid Convoy Attack...

Chavez makes sacrifice.

"At work, they call me benchmark."

'The easy part was training him not to beg.'

Tom Bowler

Obama Bucks

Deselection Box

'Just as I suspected, you don't have a serious bone in your body.'

Hall of Mirrors

'Narcissism Helpline. How can you be of assistance?'

"Hello. We're from the Government, and we mean you no harm."

"What if this whole jumping off the cliff thing is nothing but a myth?"

'The government should never have put fluoride in the water.'

"Wow...tough crowd."

'How can I put this... My bladder is not what you'd call a 'control freak'.'

'That's interesting -- if you adjust for inflation, we're upper middle class.'

Walmart finally breaks into French market

"This is Dr. Frogwart, he'll be advising you ironically about your need to lose weight."

'Could I interest you in buying a raffle ticket to the pro-gun lobbyists' ball?'

'Didn't I tell you it would be a mistake to allow mixed competition?'

"Danger!! Do not feed or put your hands through the bars."

'for all the time men spend looking at women's bodies, they know absolutely nothing about them.'

"They always remember 'bring a dish,' but they always forget 'to pass.'"