Nutty Courtroom Advisor T-Shirts

'Trust me. With this prosecuting attorney, we do NOT want you taking the witness stand in your own defense!'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

Restrictive Abortion Laws

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"My schedule is just nuts."

'I'll show you my fine print, if you show me yours.'

"A nutcracker!! Hey...this thing looks used."

Mixed Nuts

"Ask yourself 'Am I nuttier now than I was four years ago'?"

"I think we are finally ready to buy a house! What's the market like?"

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

'Marvin Quinn - Attorney at Law - Jury Whisperer.'

Do you come here often? May I buy you a brief?

"Peanuts? . . . Really?"

Professional Couples

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

"Getting ready for the auditor again?"

Chestnut crafts

"The advice was free. But the office visit was a hundred bucks an hour."

'Jimmy really enjoyed the complimentary beer nuts at Earl's Cafe.'

The walnut has a brain the size of a dinosaur's.

I still say you're going overboard.

Almonds, pecans, pistachios, cashews

'Do you realize you're not earning any interest on that?'

'Naughty or nice? I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me.'

'Did anyone ever tell you that you're beautiful when you're litigious?'

'I still enjoy nuts, but... Quiet! Here comes another one.'

Peanuts: Warning may contain nuts