Nutritious Food Gifts

Breakfast cereal..Healthy option...crap option.

'I sent out for everything.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Counting ribs

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Any time is cake o'clock

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

What the Doctor Ordered

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"States of tofu"

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.