Nutrition Nut Gifts

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"Our menu is divided into three sections... low carb, low sodium and WTF!"

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Apparently the carrot is locally sourced, the whisky is craft, the mince pie is gluten-free..."

"If you want a balanced meal, you gotta plant in top soil, and rotate the crops."

"You've worked here for 20 years and now you develop a peanut allergy."

"What's so great about eating local? It's all fast food."

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

'Doc says, lose weight, or I nail your piehole shut!.'

'It's this or salad--Doc says we need to eat raw, crunchy food.'

Updated Oliver Twist: Jamie Oliver Twist

'They're individual cheese slices, Harry. We knew that sooner or later they would want to go free.'

'Being omnivorous means we eat anything: That includes Brussel sprouts!'

'You look emaciated. I'm putting you on a high-fat diet.'

'So I can see YOUR weight loss program was a success!'

'Frozen dinners have more calories if you heat them up.'

'Of course you do realise your health would be a LOT better if you weren't such a fat bastard!'

'IN other words, you're 12% protein, 26% bone and 62% fat.'

'That's one of our new carts for dieters.'

'...You need to eat your Greenies so that you grow-up big and strong like Daddy!'

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

He's been working out and eating right. His waistline is trim and he's strengthening his core. He has a right to be proud of himself --- but I'm not going to do what he wants and start calling him the "Abdominal Snowman."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe