Health Nut Gifts

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

"I can cure your back problem, but there's a risk that you'll be left with nothing to talk about."

'I hope this is gluten-free!'

"The doctor said your cholesterol is a little high, but everything else looks normal."

Bacteria Special Offer

"You've got the blood pressure of a teenager ? who lives on junk food, TV and the computer."

New Studies Show All Foods Bad For You.

Hand sanitizer

'The 'Humungo Meal' comes with your choice of 2 sides...heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes or obesity.'

"Sounds good. No, wait ??" that's my iPod."

All natural herbs - vitamins - supplements. 'Looks like he died of natural causes.'

Deluded pear thinks she has a slim body shape.

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"Try to get more exercise."

'I started a serious workout program yesterday. So far I missed only one session.'

'Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.'

"So, what can I do for you?"

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'Did sombody say, McBypass'

'Type 2 diabetes raise concern over increased incidence of childhood obesity.'

'The secret to happiness is serotonin... Now available for $29.95 in this vitamin supplement which I endorse.'

'Let's ease into this -- I want you to try fasting between meals.'

'...The world of vitamins can be complex.'

Use it or lose it.

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

'I'm sorry Jimmy, but the results of your tests show that you're not allergic to vegetables.'

'I eat vegetables with lots of antioxidants. That's why I'm still on the first of my nine lives.'

'Say you fall down and nobody is around to hear it. With the Emergency Alert System...'

'You're in extreme danger because you eat too much. . .'

'You're very tense today.'

To help patients realize that they need to make immediate lifestyle changes,,,

"Something from the supplement cart?"

'That's still blurry This might be a good time to show you your bill.'