Food And Nutrition Gifts

'What about Trans Fats?!'

'Pick your own 'Free Range' genetically modified produce'

"C'mon, a few veggies won't kale you."

"How come only in America do you see "poor" fat people?"

'I sent out for everything.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

Counting ribs

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Any time is cake o'clock

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"