Nutrition Course Gifts

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"States of tofu"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

But is it organic?

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Be Healthy

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Too much sugar."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'Like death by salad.'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'