Nature Nutritionist Gifts

"Sure, dead meat is good...it's just that sometimes I'd like a nice salad or a fruit cup!"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"States of tofu"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

North Pole

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Be Healthy

Raw food, after you leave for work.

Allotment

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Too much sugar."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."