Nutcracker Collector T-Shirts

Nutcracker in a Tutu

"Turn your head and scream."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'I'm just doing my job. Don't take it personally.'

Nutcracker Affair

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Clown on bike.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Duck Hunt

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Hay Rides $10

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Fossil record player.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"