Nutcracker Collector Pillows

Nutcracker in a Tutu

"Turn your head and scream."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'I'm just doing my job. Don't take it personally.'

Nutcracker Affair

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Clown on bike.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Hay Rides $10

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."