Nursing Home Hero Gifts

"Fall prevention!"

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

Medical personnel give their hearts

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Keyworker

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dancing Doctor

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

Booster shots

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"Did you remember my mints?"

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'What's holding him up?'

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'I know it's overdue but I've been in Intensive Care.'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'