Nursery Rhyme Renegade Pillows

"So was the old lady who lived in a shoe taken to court for whipping her kids."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Are you made of sugar?'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"Well, that one got away."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'