Nursery Rhyme Nostalgics Pillows

"Ding ding ding ding!" It was the egg timer. The wall, the fall, the king's horses, the king's men - it was all only a dream!

"Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet... Wait, what the heck is a 'tuffet'?! Who says 'tuffet'? Shouldn't it be 'ottoman'?"

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'C'mon everyone, let's hear: 'Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. . .'.'

The Old Woman Who Lived in the Ranch. . .

"Let's see if I have this straight. You were cruising past the moon, minding your own business, when this cow suddenly jumped out of nowhere."

"Just to clarify for the court; is that a 'moo moo here' or a 'moo moo there'?"

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Are you made of sugar?'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

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"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Well, that one got away."

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.