Nuptial Comic Gifts

''Forsaking all others'? - does that mean I have to turn my webcam off?'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

"Actually, it's customary to say 'I do' to the groom, rather than text it."

''Love, honor, and obey'? -- I had something less structured in mind.'

'You're becoming so distant, Els!'

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'Wait...if you leave me, can I come too?'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"OK, but I'll have to run it by my husband."

'One is the videographer and the other is my lawyer.'

"Until the weapons of mass destruction are found."

'My wife thinks it was a cheap, sordid affair, but she's wrong. The motel cost me fifty dollars and I spent another twenty on the vibrating bed!'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

"I just called you over the intercom to tell you your wife's here. Sir?"

'Do you promise to love,honor and cherish -- until one of you decides to become a 'free agent'?'

'Your wife phones to say you left the toilet seat up in the bathroom again sir!'

'I'll take that as a 'yes.''

"This is my husband. He's a rescue."

"I know you're upset and you're giving me the silent treatment. Thank you."

"Yes, I would love to come out for a drink with the lads, but I don't think my wife is too keen."

'Goodbye Granny, see you at Easter...'

'... and, another thing, it's more stodgy than my mother's.'

'And do you, Larry, promise to love, honor and remember Helene's name?'

'He does.'

'We are gathered here today to witness this merger...'

Bridesmaid holding up the Bride's dress.

"His body washed up in the tub."

'After 40 years of marriage, Claude, your eternal optimism is starting to wear a little thin.'

It's to celebrate 24 wonderful hours without an argument.

"You knew I was grounds for divorce when you married me."