Nunchuck Enthusiast T-Shirts

Andrew tried everything to avoid getting sacked. He tried staying in the pocket. He tried rolling out of the pocket...

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

Not waiting for someday to look back on this and have a good laugh.

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

The Directors Gut.

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

"That was supposed to be us."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

Waiting For Superman

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Zeppelins.

"Are there sharks in the water?"

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

'Mr. Kong?'

Tenafly International Film Festival

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'