Nunchuck Enthusiast T-Shirts

Andrew tried everything to avoid getting sacked. He tried staying in the pocket. He tried rolling out of the pocket...

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Herman Mankiewicz

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"The cape comes off too."

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Not waiting for someday to look back on this and have a good laugh.

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Barry Norman

The Directors Gut.

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

Waiting For Superman

"Are there sharks in the water?"

Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Zeppelins.

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'Mr. Kong?'

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"That was supposed to be us."

Tenafly International Film Festival

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'