Junksnack Aficionado T-Shirts

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Rage.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Trail mix?"

Love is when you watch television together.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

Pope tarts.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Sheltering in place.

"Goal!"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

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