Numbers Buff Pillows

"Now is the part of the show when we ask the audience to shout out some random numbers."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

Great Moments in Computing #192: Newton discovers the computer.

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Early Bird Gets the Worm/Night Owl Does the Worm

'Look at those arms! I was born to ride a Harley Davidson!'

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

'It was great seeing you again Terry, we must do wildebeest sometime.'

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'Once I got the cold fusion problem out of the way, the rest was easy!'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'I'm collecting goat poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

'CANNONBALL!!' - Whale tours.

Graph to find your IQ

'Are we there yet?'

"Consider yourself chased."

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

'Hey - It says here, we're related!'

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

"Oh Goodie, more snow."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

Natural selection.

International Monetary Conference in Paris- Silver Currency an Unsound Footing

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

tiger strangling snakes

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

Odorant