Number Nemesis Gifts

"I'll be studying with Cruz at house."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Today we learned to count to one.

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

Pi fight!

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

J W D Butterworth chief accountant - Pin-stripes made of numbers

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Stop smoking,instantly.

'Why I'm not my cheery self? It's tax-time...'

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

"Now is the part of the show when we ask the audience to shout out some random numbers."

"My nose whistling is keeping me awake all night."

'Sorry - those figures aren't part of the equation. They're my lottery numbers.'

Before it even began this would become one of the longest trials on record.