Number Narrator Gifts

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

"At this point the short attention spans drop out."

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

The Life of Pi

Today we learned to count to one.

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"You're on a low sodium diet so watch the salty talk."

But under a different accounting convention ...

Warning: Math Ahead!

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Accountant Manqué

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

Pi fight!

Reign Man

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

Homeless count.

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'