Numbers Navigator Gifts

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'It's been a rough quarter, but to improve customer satisfaction we're sending out a pair of these rose-colored glasses with each financial statement.'

'Stocks shot up on news that no-one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

Accountant counting falling snowflakes.

Homeless count.

My motto was 'Boldly going where no accountant has gone before."

'I can put two and two together, but I can't get them apart.'

"Give in gracefully.. Let me intruct you in the art of book-keeping."

'Crisis'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'I tried to call the math hotline, but predictably, I got the wrong number.'

Couple with confusing pamphlets

G.P.S. for Poor Math Students

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

The Life of Pi

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"I am not asking for directions."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

New music conference

'Maths is fun!'

Counting part time employees is the new math.

Battery Lighthouse

Titanic: How's my steering.

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."