Number Magician T-Shirts

'This one is by our 'creative accounting' department.'

'Take these statistics, Miss Findlay, and make them warm and fuzzy.'

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

"Can you work a little magic with these figures? In fact, can you make them disappear?"

Accountant with Meter

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.

"I have to hand it to you, these numbers you pulled out of the air do look good."

"Is that your interpretation of primorial, Jim?"

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

'Now the first thing we need to do is spice up these numbers...'

'The job will mostly involve the manufacture of 'imaginary numbers'.'

'This is Vincent. He's Dutch and he's a bit depressed but he's a master at creative accounting!'

"I love the way you hide profits where only I can see them."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Time Is Money

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Investing your savings

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Everything's gone up."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'