Money Magician T-Shirts

"Oh I dabbled in hedge funds, sub prime mortgages, derivatives, but it was all just TOO WEIRD!"

Happiness is just around the corner...work harder, earn more money, buy more things...

'You should start socking a few bucks away for retirement.'

"This is Pete, our cryptocurrency expert."

'I've found an Inheritance Tax loophole!' - Immortality.

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'I just came from our stock broker. Our quality of life has just improved!'

'Do you realize we're all getting richer by charging each other more?'

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

Me Doing My Taxes

'I've got our bill payment schedule organized.'

'By tonight we'll finally be in the black. We don't have enough to pay the electric bill.'

'Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, because I own the damn valley.'

'Eddie, it's the market's way of saying 'there are other important things in life besides money.'

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

'In today's economy, it's important to put some of your money under you mattress and bury some in backyard...'

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

'I'd like to make a deposit.'

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

'Quick...follow that rainbow.'

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

Ostrich head in sand.

Center for the story of whether throwing money at the economy really works.

'It ain't the Fountain of Youth, but it's close.'

'Your loan application shows you're already guaranteeing $10 trillion, and will have a deficit this year of another $2 trillion -- Pal, we wouldn't lend you Monopoly money.'

"I'll be okay when I retire. I'm maxing out my 401(K), stepping up my IRA contributions, and three times a year I bury two duffle bags filled with unmarked bills in my backyard."

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'Looks like the economy is recovering!'

"I'll be blunt. You don't have much time. In three days I'm turning this over to a collection agency."

"Oh, goody."

"I make all my own investment decisions. I have a portfolio of long term investments. Unfortunately, they all started out as failed short term investments."

'Yes, I'd like to withdraw $200. And could you make that in smart money?'