Money Magicians T-Shirts

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'Here's a psychological phenomenon in which shareholders actually sympathize with management. It's called the Stockholder Syndrome.'

'A withdrawal? †Oh, the cut-and-run type, eh?'

Economic Crisis

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Time Is Money

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Investing your savings

"Everything's gone up."

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Falling stocks appear to be rising when man stands on his head.

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

The Forever Stamp

'Wait a minute....!

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'