Nuclear Security Gifts

'Loose Nuke Round Up!'

The Anti-Agent

Pretty Flowers

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"He's a guard dog."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

The Scanner Of Love.

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Tearing up the Iran Deal

Death to the Extremists

Moulin Rouge Security

A Little Extra

Scarecrows guarding a field

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"Beware of Don"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

The Jose Padilla Experience

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"We've been cancelled."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

The Best Defense

Legalish

Mou...Man trap!

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'