Nuclear Age Thinker Pillows

"We're making the World a safer place for nuclear explosions."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Zoo: No Hunting.

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"I'd quite forgotten about global thermonuclear war."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

Radioactive pollution.

I think of "The Fusco Brothers" as a modern-day "Bonanza." Only instead of four cowboys, we have four bums, and instead of a cook named Hop Sing, we have a wolverine named Axel. Is there a term for this fantasy? "Ponderosa Nervosa."

01/08/45

Connect This, Woo-Woos

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

The Nuclear Balance

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

"Some deterrent that was!"

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

"This isn't what I expected when I signed up for the 'What Men Think' talk."

Tree growing

This is Weird

'We don't devour, Mirabelle: we empower.'

'You thought I'd gone out of business? What gave you that idea?'

"It's soon to be listed in the National Register of Historic Military Holes in the Ground."

"Boy of a girl?! Don't you think it's a little early to be assigning gender?"

Israel Sabotaging Iran's Nuclear Program

Dr. Ernie answers your questions about aging. A reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, what will deteriorate fastest as I get older?" Medicare.

Playthings

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

A not-so-happy God wearing protective clothing putting the Nuclear leaking Planet Earth in a Nuclear waste container

"Where do you see yourself 5 years ago?"

"Wait a minute! - First you say, 'Lay up treasures in Heaven,' and then you say, 'You can't take it with you'!"

"I have an existential dread of falling off your couch."

'Call me crazy, but I'm not reassured...'

Trump and Kim Jong-un