Nsa Agent Gifts

Not-So-Secret Memos

Those NSA folks sure take a lot of time off.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

The Anti-Agent

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Where was the TSA?'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Meet Santa's entourage

Snow White and her Seven people.

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

Tax Collector

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'