
'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'
Looking for a gift that challenges the mind and tickles the funny bone? Our collection for novelty philosophers features witty, satire-rich items that celebrate the love of wisdom and humor. Whether it's a mug, a T-shirt, or a print, surprise your favorite thinker with a gift that makes pondering even more delightful.
'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'
"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."
Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.
Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!
'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'
"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."
Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker
In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.
'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'
Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"
'Intelligent Design? My arse!'
Smart Ass - Wise Ass
"Aristophanes explains comedy"
Ban on Free Speech
Humans...What is their purpose?
"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."
College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!
Dog Walking Services
Historical memory is on life support.
"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."
Voltaire
Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)
Jean-Paul Sartre
"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."
"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"
'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'
"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."
"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."
The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.
"So, what did you do at charter school today?"
Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.
"It's such a lovely day!"
"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."
What's normal?
God Sneezes Out Creation
Explore our collection of witty and wise mugs perfect for novelty philosophers. Brighten mornings with a splash of humor and insight—click to see more.
Relax with our cozy pillows featuring clever philosophical humor. Perfect for adding personality and comfort to any space—check out our selection.
Decorate with our expressive prints inspired by philosophical satire and wit. Perfect for sprucing up your favorite room—browse the collection today.
Find humorous and thought-provoking T-shirts designed for novelty philosophers. Make a statement and add a dash of wit to your wardrobe—discover our range now.